Do you want to know what scares me? The thought that each day there are innumerable people whose lives intersect with my own. She smiled at me on the train and he held the door open to let me through at the grocery. I will never know these people. I will never know their lives and they will never know mine. And I cannot help but think that I may be missing someone or something that I am supposed to have. What if I missed my train?
You know what turns me on? Effort. Assurance. Show me you care. That you really want me. I’m tired of doubting whether people are coming or going.
I am learning everyday to allow the space between where I am and where I want to be, to inspire me and not terrify me.
I’ve been in love with someone that didn’t love me back, and I’ve been love by someone that I didn’t love back. And I don’t know which is worse: to be broken or to break another soul.
What horrifies me most is the idea of being useless: well-educated, brilliantly promising, and fading out into an indifferent middle age.
